Sunday, September 18, 2011

"I Want It Now!"

So we know that dementia leads to increased impatience and irritability. Yesterday Grandma used those characteristics to do a pretty impressive Veruca Salt impression.

"We don't have any ginger ale?"
"No, we ran out."
"I want ginger ale."
"We don't have any. Dad's bringing some by tomorrow."
"I don't want it tomorrow, I want it now!"

Luckily I was able to placate Veruca with some ginger iced tea.

Things Aunt Dee Has Stolen:
Remote Control

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Here's a disturbing new trend (aside from a resurgence of foil in the microwave), Grandma has gotten it into her head that she's having company.

"Am I having company?"
"No. No one is coming over."
"Isn't Andy coming over?"

This is her step-brother. He was always the life of the party, so I'd love to have him visit. The problem with that plan is that he passed away two years ago. I remind Grandma of this. But, she never admits to being wrong.

"Oh, it must have been Eddie that called. He's coming over. At 9 o'clock. Can you believe it? Who comes over then?"
"He lives in Texas. He's not coming over."

This has been going on for weeks, and she's said it three times in the past hour alone.

So I repeat, "No one is coming over. You keep saying that, but no one is coming."
"Well I didn't make it up! We'll see what happens at 9 o'clock!"
"You wanna bet?"
"Yeah! He called! I'll show you!"

And then she starts muttering and cursing.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Head Trauma

I got Grandma to call Little Bro for his birthday. I hear him ask about me, "Is she giving you a hard time, Grandma?"
"Oh no, but if she does I'll hit her over the head with something!"

Probably with my own frying pan. Gulp.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Afternoon Delights

Grandma's having a pretty good afternoon! Aunt Dee was able to convince her to get her hair done, so she no longer looks like a Gremlin. We introduced her to some fancy new flavors from Dunkin Donuts, like apple pie and strawberry shortcake. My dad found something that might have put her afternoon over the top!

"You wanna watch Walker Texas Ranger?"
"Oh yeah!!!"

I haven't seen her that excited in weeks!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Dog Days 2

Today when I came home, Grandma was at the door.
"I don't know where the dog is."
"She went home yesterday. Dad took her back."
"She didn't get out?"
"No, she is fine. She's with Dad."
"Oh. Ok."

I went back out to my car and ran into Grandma's friend Alice, who was talking to another neighbor, "Did you find the dog?"

Apparently Grandma had sent out a search party. So, little Puppy won Grandma over in her short time with us.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Dog Days

Little Bro and I have a longstanding joke about Grandma and dogs. For a while, Little Bro's living situation was a bit tumultuous. He was debating moving to the city and asked if I'd be able to take his dog in that situation. His dog is a 65 pound all legs hound mix who still jumps up occasionally. I told Little Bro, "I don't think Grandma could handle him. Plus, she probably wouldn't remember where he came from. She'd probably shoo him out of the house going, 'I don't know whose dog this is!'" So now at any mention of Grandma and/or dogs we like to say, "Is this your dog?", "I don't know where this dog came from!", or "Whose dog is this?"

Cut to this week. Grandma and I are dogsitting for my dad. He has our beloved old family pet, Puppy (that's her in the photo). Puppy is a small pit bull. In her hey day she was a little tank of muscle. Her favorite activity was perching on the couch, looking out the front window, and barking at anyone or anything that dared to pass our house.

Now Puppy is about 14 or 15, and she and Grandma have a lot in common. Both are nonagenarians, arthritic, and hard of hearing. Puppy, however, has a much friendlier disposition. Grandma "just wants to be left alone," Puppy wants to follow you everywhere. While Grandma "just don't feel like eating," Puppy will eat whatever she can. Puppy happily ambles along while Grandma knocks into her with her walker muttering, "Get outta the way!"

And not even 10 minutes after my dad left, Grandma starts eying Puppy with suspicion. "Whose dog is that?"

Monday, August 1, 2011

Good Morning, Sunshine!

We all know that Grandma does not like to be woken up, and now her new aide is learning quickly, too!

She walked in this morning and Grandma was still lounging in bed, where she had stayed for the majority of the weekend.
"Good morning, how do you feel today?"
"I don't need you! Who sent you?"

Grandma also seems to be channeling Greta Garbo. "I just want to be left alone" is her new catchphrase.

Things Aunt Dee Steals:
A walker (that Grandma never actually had)
Stuff (You know, just in general. Grandma said she came and took "stuff")